We'll See

So today is monday, and for some reason i always have the
hardest time keeping my calories down at the start of the
work week.
I was sick today so I came home from school and, feeling weak,
made myself...
2 peices of chicken 272 cals
3 fried eggs 270 cals
pomegranates 105 cals
skim milk 91 cals

Luckily I was home so I had time to purge some of it, but of course,
you only get like the last food you eat up. The rest are digested.
So already I had 732 cals
Then I was doing okay until my dad came home with dumplings...
Then I really fucked up.

Dumplings 500 cals
Salad [lettuce and spices] 50 cals
Cheerios 100 cals
skim milk 91 cals

In total today I had 1473 cals in total.
473 CALORIES OVER NORMAL DIET!!!
At least it's only 5pm and i have 6 hours to burn it off before i
go to sleep.

Currently I'm sitting at 196.6 down from 199 last time I wrote
in my blog. BUT i took that right after i had eaten dinner, so
if i check right now [im going to go check] i bet i'll be back up to
197.
Yep... I'm 196.8... I'm already paying for all of that food.

I wish I could just be happy with myself like I used to be.
I used to be happy and fat and loving life, but now...
I want to be skinny and 110 pounds.
Fuck!!

-Sam;;
PeaceEZ