In The End...

Before I was talking about the fact I was having issues with
my friends, well I talked to them on sunday and they agreed
they would do what they could to make it better between us.
This time I hope things change, I don't know if I can handle
going through all the pointless drama again.
[Damn, I'm fuckin thristy;; water, no calories]

Sunday I chilled with the two of them because it was one of
their birthdays. She wanted to get her navel peirced, and of
course, she didn't tell her parents. Luckily she didn't chicken
out and she ended up getting it done. Afterwards we went for
MCDONALDS!! Of all the fast food places they could have
chosen, they had to pick the most disgustingly fatty and greasy.
I was proud of myself though, I managed to walk out of there
only having had a medium diet coke [NO CALS WOOT!].
Although, i thought I was safe for food for the rest of the day,
but of course our bus had left before we got there and they had
to go to a fucking chocolate bar.
Cakes... Tarts... Coffees... Truffles... Bars... CHOCOLATE
EVERYWHERE.
So obviously I couldn't get out of this one, and I ended up having
one truffle. So that's about as much chocolate as the top digit
on your thumb, luckily.

Sometimes I think my friends know my problem and they are just
trying to taunt me. Thankfully they dont know, though! For now...

How much longer do I have till everyone finds out...
How did I get into this? How did I let myself get to this level?
I check the scale like 10 times a day...

It's sick.
I can't enjoy myself.
I can't live.

If anyone out there wants to get into bulimia or anorexia... DONT!
You have NO idea what you are getting into.

I got into it thinking that I would be able to control it but I was
WRONG!

One day, I'll get so sick that they send me to the hospital and they
lock me up until I lose the habit/illness.
Until then...

-Sam;;
PeaceEZ